Tag Archives: writing

I’m Back, Bitches (yes, again)

16 Jun

Hey dudes and dudettes…

I know it’s been a while. I’m sorry. Life gets in the way and I get unmotivated and then shit just goes all willy-nilly and I forget I even know I have this site until I get the email for renewing my domain name and I think “Well, shit. I should probably go ahead and get back on the proverbial horse” and then I start three different drafts of different stories and get frustrated because I’m convinced it’s drivel and don’t actually get anything posted. We writers are a temperamental, hyper-critical bunch. With that, I beg your forgiveness once again for my laziness and overall apathy about actually pursuing this whole writing thing and make yet another promise to be far more consistent with my updates. 

2013 got off to a bit of a rocky start for me. My grandmother passed away and I had to make the hardest decision of my life in putting my tiny little baby angel, Dexter, to sleep. If any of you has ever had to decide to end a pet’s suffering, you know just how heart breaking such an event can be. In dealing with all of that, I kind of lost sight of who I was and what I want from life and all the big questions grief and loss bring about. Also, I realize how big of an asshole I look like for sounding like I miss my dog more than I do my grandmother, but I can assure you I miss her too – it was a long time coming, and to be honest, we all knew it was absolutely her time. It still hasn’t quite hit me yet that she is gone forever, and Dexter’s absence is glaring every time I walk in the house and he’s not here. 

Anyway, enough with the depressing stuff. What 2013 has also brought me thus far is a second chance at getting to know and building a relationship with my biological father. It has reconnected me with some friends I haven’t talked to in quite some time. It has taught me to forgive grudges I didn’t even realize I was holding, and it has given me the opportunity to focus on who and what’s important in my life. It’s made me understand that I am a very different person than I was ten years ago, and a very different person than I was five years ago. I’ve grown and changed and improved. I still have work to do, but I’m okay with that.

I think one of my favorite things about logging into WordPress after a long absence is the crazy ridiculous amount of comments I have awaiting approval. Roughly 95% of them are spam, and the other 5% either love my stuff or hate it. My favorite comment this time around was posted on my Planet Fitness post. It stated, “This reads like it was written by a 14 year old. Very immature and ignorant.” To that guy, I simply have to say fuck you very much. That post was satirical in nature and it’s one of my highest-viewed posts of all time. Additionally, the word ignorant doesn’t mean rude or immature. Let me Google the definition for you: ignorant (even if you know the definition, click the link because it’s fun). Also, you’re probably bitter that you fall into one or more of the categories of Planet Fitness members I mentioned. I’d like to point out that there certainly are normal people that go there to work out and fall into none of the categories I wrote about – I’m friends with many of them. Whatever, dude. It’s called the internet… shut that computer down if you’re going to be all butt-hurt about things.

Expect things to get pretty random around here… I’m working on a couple other writing projects (while also working, taking grad classes, and studying for the state insurance licensing test) so I’m a little all over the place (nothing new, right?). 

 

XOXO

Morning Musings…

21 Jul

First of all, I’m 4 views away from 6k page views here. Holy shit, is all I have to say. Considering the fact that I’m less than consistent with making sure I update even on a semi-regular basis, that’s more than I expected. I KNOW, I KNOW. I’ve promised this more than once… I really need to get on it – no excuses. This little project here of mine has evolved from my original vision, as I had planned to simply highlight the more ridiculous things I encounter on a daily basis. I’m kind of okay with that. It’s become my sounding board –  a place where I can share my thoughts in more than 140 character-long bursts. As it stands now, I’m sitting on the front porch of the family shore house, having just finished my first cup of coffee. I’ve got the dog in my lap, and I’m giving The Gaslight Anthem’s new album, Handwritten, a listen here. I’m kind of just writing whatever comes to mind – I sometimes think I don’t do that often enough.

Barnegat Light

Having spent this week on Long Beach Island, I’ve come to the conclusion this is one of those rare places I can truly relax. My insomnia miraculously melts away, I’m well-rested, and it feels like I have nothing in the world to worry about. I spend most of my days barefoot and in a bathing suit, hair thrown back in a messy bun and a face free of make up. The family house isn’t much – it’s over 100 years old, and lack “modern comforts” such as central air, cable TV, and internet (I’m currently using my phone as a hotspot) and I wouldn’t have it any other way. This house is where I learned how to play gin rummy, and have spent hours delving into book after book. The couch I’m sitting on has seen better days, in spite of its brand new slip-cover, and it’s still one of my favorite places to nap. I may not live here, but in a sense, this three bedroom house that will eventually be torn down when it’s sold is home. The beach up the street is where I learned to body surf, where I have dug my toes into the sand and where I have sat in quiet contemplation. It pains me to have to leave tomorrow, allowing for a different set of relatives to spend their week here. All of us – my parents, sister, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, etc. love this place – and I think we all love it for the some of the same reasons, and even many different ones.

I find that when I’m here, I’m easily inspired (I really do hate that word, I kind of feel as though it’s a bit trite) to get back to being creative. Whether it be writing, finding some form of other art I don’t completely suck at, or wanting to pick up my cameras again, I get motivated to create. This week, it’s been the bug to get back into writing – writing well, and writing regularly. I’m questioning why I ever stopped pursuing journalism as a career choice… did I really let one shitty professor in community college dissuade me from something I’m actually pretty good at? Something I’ve had a lifelong interest in? Sometimes my impulsive decisions really do bite me in the ass. Then again, who’s to say that’s not the path I was supposed to go down? I’m not going to wax philosophical on what could have been… I think I’m just a little bitter about the fact that I’ve got a degree I’m not using, in a field I kind of picked on a whim. Meh. Irrelevant, I suppose, since I’ve got a job that pays me well and keeps the bills paid and keeps food in my mouth. There’s something in the sea air that gets me all introspective and contemplative about life. Weird, right?

I really want to do some collaborative writing sometime soon… maybe start a second site with some other bloggers, kind of just a hodge podge mish mash of different styles and ideas. Anyone interested?

xoxo

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